Most of the people in my world are very empathic and intuitive, so since you’re here in my world, I’m guessing you are too.
It’s a gift, right? But, let’s be honest…sometimes it feels like a curse.
We feel everything so intensely.
We just know when people around us are struggling or suffering and, of course, we want to help. We want to ease their suffering and help them feel better.
We’re compassionate. We’re loving. We feel their pain and want to DO something ASAP. The more intuitive you are (the more you feel their pain), the more you may find yourself wanting to jump in and “fix the problem.”
I recently got attacked on facebook by some woman I don’t know who felt the need to tell me I should take my message to the starving people in Africa. Clearly she feels my message of empowerment wont help feed people.
I have to lovingly agree to disagree on that one.
Even though this woman was really attacking me, I believe her anger is not really at me. I imagine she must feel pretty helpless…there are people starving and no matter how hard she tries to “fix it,” she cannot do enough.
I get it. I used to feel the same way…helpless, sad, and overwhelmed by the magnitude of the need.
But I’ve learned a few things about helping others.
I’ve learned what works and what doesn’t.
Whether you are committed to helping people in Africa, in your own neighborhood or in your own home… sometimes we want to be of service so desperately that we lose sight of what’s helpful and what’s actually really contributing to the problem.
I’ve put together my list of “signs you’re actually NOT helping.” Look it over. Give it some thought.
If you agree with my assessment and you notice you’re doing any of these (I know I still do them from time to time!) see if you can consciously switch the energy.
If someone is trying to help you and you sense they are seeing you as disempowered, don’t get sucked in.
Uphold the Truth of Who You Are.
Receive loving support AND remember you are a powerful manifester, capable of changing your circumstances.
So…here are my top 10 Signs the “Helper” is NOT helping:
1. The helper is seeing the other as a victim/disempowered.
2. The helper is seeing the situation as hopeless or is focusing on the problem rather than the solution.
3. The helper feels sorry for the person.
It’s one thing to feel sorry someone is struggling and going through a challenging situation, but feeling sorry for them holds an energy of disempowerment.
4. The helper sees the person in lack.
No matter how much someone is struggling, they still have gifts and talents to share with the world. When we insist on always being the “giver” and we refuse to receive in exchange, we are acting as if they have nothing special and of value to contribute and share. Ouch…right?
5. Seeing them as broken and trying to “fix” or rescue them.
6. Trying to protect them from themselves or seeing them as weak.
7. Not believing in them and trying to get them to do things your way rather than helping them access their unique way.
8. Wanting them to change more than they want to change.
9. The helper is attached to the outcome and the choices the other is making.
10. Being unrealistic and engaging in wishful thinking about the changes that will need to occur and the difficulty, complexity and time frame of the transformation.
To Your Divinity!
