Ok I have to share this with you. It’s a story that at first may seem all about me, but bear with me because my sense is that you’re going to have some a-ha’s just like I did.
I’m not one for analyzing dreams…I used to be, but now I pay more attention to how a dream makes me FEEL and less attention to what I think it all MEANS. That said, I sometimes have dreams that are so vivid and the energy is so different, so profound, I know I am experiencing something very real at some strange level. This past week I had one of those dreams and it rocked me to my core.
For those of you who are new to my world, I am very happily married and have been with my husband, Rob for 11 years. When we first started dating I seriously thought something was wrong because we were so happy together. Our relationship was (and still is) so easy. I seriously thought it was bizarre, abnormal and too good to be true. I worried there was something hidden, something wrong I couldn’t yet see. How could I have created such a blessed relationship? I now know my worry was me sabotaging my happiness (click to learn more about how to figure out if you’re sabotaging your own happiness) but at the time I didn’t understand all of that. Okay, so that’s my relationship for real…in this life. Check this out…Here’s what happened in my dream…
In this dream I was married to a boy I knew in high school. He was the older brother of a friend of mine. I had known him most of my life. Our marriage was mostly polite, but it was distant and cold. We didn’t dislike each other, but we weren’t in love either. Communication was strained, words so easily misunderstood, kind intentions so quickly misinterpreted as malicious. Feelings were hurt. There was no hand holding, no snuggling or “just because” kisses. No “I love you” glances from across a crowded room. No “I love you” sentiments as we hung up the phone. No flirty texts. No smiles of endearment…we were just sort of partners doing our best to help each other survive another day. In my dream, I longed for him to see me, to acknowledge me and want to be with me. I imagine he wanted the very same from me, but neither of us knew how to close the gap between us. I didn’t even understand why the gap was there. I just felt helpless and sad, but I saw other couples who seemed to have it “worse,” couples who fought terribly. So I told myself, “it’s not that bad. All couples have their issues. This is as good as it gets.” I truly believed this was as good as love and marriage could get.
Usually when I dream, I have full awareness of my “real life.” I know Rob and he is there in my dream either physically or in my thoughts. If we are not together for some reason, I miss him. I grieve him and feel the emptiness of his absence. From that perspective a dream without Rob in my life feels like a nightmare. But this dream didn’t feel like a nightmare because I didn’t know what I was missing out on.
In this dream, I had no idea Rob existed. I didn’t miss him or long for the intimacy of our partnership because I literally had NO IDEA he existed. I had NO Concept of the love I know to be possible from my “real life” conscious perspective. It was as if I was experiencing a parallel universe, an alternate outcome had I never left home for college…had I not gone so deeply into my Spiritual study… had I never met Rob. I was getting a glimpse of a life I never lived…a life that so easily could have been. A life I let go of to step into so much more.
The woman I was in my dream was suffering because she was lonely, but for the most part she was living the best life she could imagine. Her marriage was “better than most” so who was she to complain? Her heart ached because her Soul wanted more, but her mind couldn’t comprehend another version of life…she had never seen anyone have more. “More” was only found in fairy tales. So she settled for “good enough” and tried to talk herself into being satisfied with what was. She was happy “enough.”
When I woke I realized I had fallen back to sleep after hitting “snooze.” I could hear Rob in the shower. My trip to that parallel world had lasted only a few minutes, but felt like a lifetime. As I lay there I thought about all the ways my life is blessed. Thank God I chose a different path. Thank God I’m not that girl I could have been. But I also thought about all the ways I’m settling for a life that is “good enough.” My “real life” is just one version of all the infinite possibilities.
Who is the Kyrsten I am missing out on because I don’t believe/know that she exists? What blessings of abundance am I blind to? What am I settling for because I literally can’t imagine a more blessed outcome? What is my Soul nudging me to expand into next?
Those nudges, we all receive, are the Soul’s ways of saying, “you can’t see it yet, but believe me…this in only the beginning…there is so much more.”
I have an amazing husband AND what if the love and happiness we share is only the beginning of what is possible for us? Can I imagine happier? Can I allow myself to receive more?
What if the life you live now is just a taste of the abundance of love, joy and prosperity that is available to you and those you love? Are you ready to step into a more abundant “parallel” world?
Since you made it to the end of my story…I know you’re ready for more! But remember, we can’t see what we can’t see…your Soul has to show you the way. If you need help understanding your Soul, interpreting your Soul’s wisdom and tuning into your own intuition, I’m here to help.Click here to apply for a complimentary “next steps” call and I’ll help you discover your next action steps to creating your “more.”
To Your Divinity!
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